Posted in after gastric bypass surgery, life after gastric bypass, weight loss surgery experiences

When Your Partner Doesn’t Support You

*I am NOT a mental health professional and I urge you to seek appropriate counseling for any relationship problems*

For many of us who have weight loss surgery, we have had weight issues most of our lives.  I for one battled with my weight since the age of 12.  So when we hear the words “you’re approved” it’s a mix of feelings; relief, happiness, nervousness, excitement…I’m sure you can fill in many others you felt when you heard the news for yourself. We all imagine our spouse/significant other will be behind us 100% in our decision to change our life for the better and put an end to our obesity struggles.

bride-and-groom-figurines-1-1313897

But what happens when you’re partner doesn’t support your decision to go under the knife?  Why would he/she react this way?  More and more I’m hearing of couples having relationship issues either during the approval process or soon after the surgery is done.  There are many reasons that your partner might not support your decision for weight loss surgery.  For many, couples met and fell in love while at their current weight.  Basically who you are (and are trying to change with your WLS) is who your partner fell in love with.  The new you will take some getting used to.

Some lack of support may be due to worry that you will now be more attractive to other people and leave him/her for someone else.  If your partners is also heavy and unhappy with their weight, good ‘ole fashioned jealousy can be at play that you are able to change for the better and they are not.

Sometimes, without realizing it, our surgery becomes our sole focus, and that can wear on the other person (and honestly our other friends and family, not just our partners).  It’s a big deal to us, and even if our loved ones are happy for us, and supportive, it doesn’t mean they want to hear about it during ever conversation…that’s when support groups come in handy, so we can talk about it to our hearts content!

If your partner is truly disrespecting you, insulting you, or hurting you in anyway, do NOT tolerate that!  But if it seems to be simply they are having a rough time with the changes your surgery brought on, try talking honestly about them, and meet him/her halfway, and see if attitudes can shift to make both of you happy again.  One of the biggest changes in your life doesn’t have to mean an end to your relationship!

 

51Nhp6tzqEL.jpg      weight-loss-relationships    wls-connection   shaping

amazon affiliate

Advertisements

Author:

Hello, I'm Kate, and I'm a 10 year gastric bypass post-op. I started this blog, as well as my nutritional website betterbariatric.net, to help other bariatric surgery post-op's on their journey as well as pre-op's with their decision if bariatric surgery is right for them or not.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s